If this is your first time here, I recommend starting from the first episode and working your way forward. Of course, that's entirely your call.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Season 6, Episode 15: Denise Kendall, Singles Counselor

Sorry about not posting last week, guys. I have no excuse.

This episode is all about the difficulties of teenage romance. Denise, seeing that Vanessa has a crush on a boy at the cafe, urges her sister to talk to him and even coaches her on lines she can use to win his favor. Unfortunately, when things go sour, Denise finds herself the recipient of heaping helpings of blame and responsibility for the process of setting everything right. It's a mess, but like any good sitcom mess, it's fixed by the end of the day.

That haircut says "starship ensign" to me.

Danielle Burgio appears briefly as a server. She wears this. I'd love to read this place's written guidelines for staff attire.

Dem cheekbones do.

Elliot, the object of Vanessa's misplaced affection, is played by Garland Whitt. Though admittedly handsome, he's working with some impeded fashion skills. He's trying to hide that fact with his deplorable jacket, but I can see that his sweater and pants are the same damn color. Part of the t-shirt underneath is also grayish olive. He's just way, way committed to that shade. As for the outerwear, I don't care if he earned each one of those patches himself by being the best Boy Scout ever: it's too busy. (And let's be real: he didn't earn those patches, they came with the coat.)

She mean.

His girlfriend Shana is bad news. Back in episode #3.17, she was known as Althea Logan and caused all sorts of trouble by smoking in Vanessa's room. Now she's pretending like she's never seen these people before and treating her romantic partner like a servant. It's possible that she requires medication. I can't really hate on her all-black, heavily accessorized presentation, though. The studded cap might be a bit bold, but she owns it.

OK, enough with the cute kid thing. We get it.

Olivia's leggings and shoes are repeated from episode #6.13, but the sea foam top half is brand new. She maybe has too many clothes for someone her age.

Cute kid cautionary tale.

It's odd that Rudy was included in this week's episode at all, given that she has only one line and so little screen time that I couldn't even find an isolated shot of her. This is the best we get. Blue apron, magenta shirt. Done.

Of all the things to bring back.

Vanessa's first look is a repeat of episode #5.17, with an added hat.

I'm as surprised about my praise of this as you are, hon.

She gets some new pieces for her second look, the date outfit for a date that never happens. The top half is great, a sort of Town and Country riding jacket and white, slightly embellished blouse that exude ostentatious old money. The pants have a similar feel, with detailed stitching that suggests old tapestries or antique furniture. I don't think the upper and lower portions of the ensemble match terribly well, but I adore them individually.

Grinning like a man who doesn't know how bad this is.

Gosh, Theo, another drab, lifeless combination of oversized garments? You shouldn't have.

Oh no.

Denise's pajama pants aren't doing it for me, but I'm intrigued by this shirt. Let me be clear in stating that it's not good, I'm just intrigued. Look at the little yellow sash. It passes under and through the collar, meaning that there are holes there designed for this kind of mini-cravat. Odd, no? The whole creation is easily one of her worst, but that detail stuck out to me.


Has there been a contest going on to see who can get Clair into the ugliest sweater? Joke's over, guys. We've had enough. I demand a return to fabulous, fashionable Phylicia immediately.


Want to wear a comically short tie, but can't find a comically short tie? Imply one by adding some really ugly contrasting fabric on your black long-sleeved polo. Then, pair it with some gray pants to make sure that the inch-wide strip of vomit-colored rickrack on your chest is the only thing anyone can focus on! This handy tip brought to you by Dr. Cliff Huxtable.

I know: delays suck. I am the worst. Maybe I'll get things up on time next week? History suggests otherwise, but one never knows...

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