If this is your first time here, I recommend starting from the first episode and working your way forward. Of course, that's entirely your call.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Season 5, Episode 4: Move It

First off, apologies for being a day late with this post.

Anyhow: Cliff and Clair grow increasingly concerned with the apartment into which their grandchild will be born, but Sondra and Elvin refuse to accept monetary help. Eventually, they work out a plan for a loan and then immediately find new living quarters. I guess hunting for a place was easier back then.

This episode involves guest stars, grandparents, and three whole days of plot, so get ready for a long ride. I'll try to focus on the most important points on each outfit so that you don't end up stuck in your chair all day.

He has a beeper. Remember beepers?

Edouard DeSoto plays the shady landlord, Mr. Rueter. He's still working here and there, mostly in guest spots on Law & Order and its variants. In terms of costuming, he is wearing brown. Like, that's basically all there is to say.

This is his "give me your money" outfit.

He pops up at the end of the episode to show the apartment to new prospective renters (who of course accept it immediately because this is, like, the dream slum). For people who have not yet signed a lease, he seems to try a little harder, rocking some slate slacks, a creamsicle shirt, and an honest-to-goodness tie in a mottled pattern that I surprisingly adore. Overall, this is maybe a great look.

This is his "take my money" outfit.

The couple viewing the apartment seems too nicely dressed for people who would actually enjoy living in this garbage place. (Then again, Sondra grew up rich and she still toughed it out.) You might recognize the husband, played by Raphael Sbarge, for his current work on Once Upon a Time as Jiminy Cricket. His exterior is standard '80s prep, which is honestly almost the same as standard 2010s prep. If those pants were slimmer and not pleated, he'd look fairly current, though kind of square.

I couldn't tell you what purpose she thinks this outfit serves.

His wife is played by Mary Ward, who gets occasional gust roles on TV shows. The heart knit on that sweater is clearly intended to show us what an innocent little lamb she is, so I'm surprised that the piece is paired with that above-the-knee skirt. Not that it's an immodest length, but she could just as easily have worn something longer, or even gone with pants. I guess the corduroy was conveying youth and playfulness? I dunno. The grungy brown isn't spectacular; I'm partial to something richer. More like chocolate, less like mildew, you know?

It's impossible to screencap this woman making a non-crazy face.

Grandma Anna drops by in a solid showing. Though there's a lot of medium brown and black in her creation, she also pulls in some flashier colors with that pinkish red blouse and the hints of turquoise in her cardigan. I'm keen on that sweater's length, too. She looks comfortable but not dowdy. I'm into it.

His closet must be almost empty.

Poor Grandpa Russell never gets new clothes. That plaid shirt has shown up twice before, and the teal vest is old too. Usually his new configurations hang together nicely, but these items have less connective tissue. Maybe it's time for a shopping trip. We've run out of ways to put his garments together productively.

Yup, she can read, we get it.

Rudy has relied heavily on pink lately. Let's watch to see whether her stereotypically feminine palette choices continue to undercut her ostensible place as the tiniest mascot for gender equality.

Who'd have thunk we'd end up living for Vanessa?

The goddess phase continues. Like Denise before her, Vanessa is making bold choices that have little to do with traditional female presentation. The eggplant and forest green exude an almost masculine vibe, while the goldenrod turtleneck and matching stripes in the cardigan suggest old-school royalty. I'd usually frown on the button embellishments, but somehow they seem right here. I don't know, there's a costume drama feel to this that I can't put my finger on. She's somewhere between the queen and the court jester with this look, but I'm behind it all the way.

Close, and yet not close.

So, there are parts of this that approach mediocrity. Like, the pants are a little pajama-y, but if that fabric was just slightly sturdier and the pattern were a little brighter, then he'd have a serious jam going on below the waist. The blazer would be a great compliment if it fit him well. The t-shirt, of course, is unacceptable in this context. He's getting there, but this is mostly still just a sloppy, washed-out mess. Nice try I suppose.


Since Lisa Bonet's real pregnancy continues to interfere with Denise's fictional life, we see less of her and she wears less interesting pieces. Everything here is just drab and blobby and designed mainly to obscure. I miss the old days.

Don't care.

Fake pregnancy also leads to boredom. Sondra has three different maternity looks for us. The first is a navy creation. I can't tell if the shape messes with her proportions or if she's just carrying really high.

Still don't care.

Day two involves the same off-white turtleneck with a different smock over it. It's an OK color for her.

Nope, no cares here.

Purple overalls because why not?

He's always so cheery.

Elvin continues to procure every last stitch of his clothing from the wilderness store. This variation on his plaid-shirt-and-corduroy-pants theme at least adds interest with a slightly brighter blue and a bolder white base. Normally you barely even register his presence because of all the neutrals.

Thank heavens for repeats. This entry is getting long.

This sweater first appeared in episode #4.7.

Let's just pretend it's a repeat.

This is a slightly cleaner take on his #2.19 shirt. The pattern is more defined and the shades are more controlled. I'm into it.

Another near match. We're running out of ideas, huh?

Clair previously showed us a yellow blazer in episode #4.20, but this one is superior. Though it's still a tad bulky, there's more shape to it; the collar is also smaller and more streamlined. Underneath, she's giving classic black with some chic golden embellishments. The turtleneck is a bit heavy-looking underneath a wide jacket, but otherwise it's a good look.

Sleek and chic.

Sometimes a basic is best. This plain salmon top looks great on her. All you need are the right color and the right fit.

Serving Ten Forward realness.

Remember what I said about basics, Clair? Seriously, you go too far with the weirdness and you end up looking like you bought Guinan's hand-me-downs.

I always try to find a rhyme for sweaters in these captions. I should give up.

Cliff starts the episode in a nice patchwork number. The punch-colored collar is a delight against the soft denimy shades of the sweater.

A bunch of bunching.

His new tactic of delivering waist weirdness in the pantaloons is not playing well with me. Get this harem nonsense out of here.

Serenity is paying for your daughter's apartment, I guess.

He's doing better here, though it's not flawless. The texturing of the shirt is off for me in a way that I can't quite place, but it makes the garment look cheap. Maybe because it reminds me of velcro? You're not going to go wrong with gray slacks, but the stripe on his socks is distracting and should have been avoided. It's a decent turn overall.

And that's that. Worth waiting an extra day, I hope. Luckily, the internet is HUGE. I'm sure you found something else to distract you while I was absent.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my god... why does this page exist? Why am I so excited about? Don't stop!